Nick Cannon recently shared a raw and emotional reflection on his relationship with ex-wife Mariah Carey during an appearance on the Ray Daniels Presents podcast. The Wild ‘n Out host, who was married to the iconic singer for eight years, discussed the insecurities he experienced while navigating their marriage, particularly due to Mariah’s immense fame and success.

Nick, who wed Mariah in 2008, admitted that being with one of the biggest stars in the world left him questioning his identity. “I would lay up at night thinking, ‘Is this who I am? Am I Mariah’s man? Is that what my life is supposed to be?’” Nick shared, explaining how his growing insecurities were tied to his sense of self-worth outside of their relationship.

Reflecting on the early days of their marriage, Nick recalled the lavish lifestyle that came with being married to Mariah, which led to him losing his “hustler spirit.” “She got islands, and I’m waking up at noon and people bringing me stacks on a platter,” he said. While Mariah was thriving in her career, Nick began to feel that his own trajectory was stalling.

Things shifted when the couple welcomed their twins, Monroe and Moroccan, now 13 years old. Nick expressed how fatherhood added another layer of complexity to his emotions. “When you have children, the hierarchy of things changes. I’m carrying the diaper bag, standing on the corner, and she’s rocking being all the alpha,” he recalled, acknowledging that Mariah deserved someone who could support her at her level.

Despite these challenges, Nick maintained that his love for Mariah kept him grounded in the relationship. He recognized that Mariah needed someone by her side who wasn’t just interested in her fame or wealth. “She needs a support system, somebody that doesn’t want her for her money,” Nick explained.

However, Nick’s insecurities began to affect other areas of his life, including his career. He revealed that he often wondered if his professional successes, such as his roles at Nickelodeon and Island Def Jam, were a result of Mariah’s connections rather than his own merit. “I’m trying to prove that I’m a man, standing next to a woman who’s already on top,” he said, admitting that his internal conflict made him question his accomplishments.

Nick’s health battle with lupus also played a role in shifting his perspective. “I have so much to do,” he reflected, realizing that his health struggles helped him reassess his priorities in life.

Since his split from Mariah in 2016, Nick has fathered 10 children with five different partners, with his most recent child, Halo Marie, born in December 2022. Despite his growing family, Nick has consistently expressed that Mariah is the one who “got away.” In a past interview with E! News, Nick was asked if he would ever consider reuniting with Mariah, to which he responded, “Yes, absolutely. I’d be stupid if I wouldn’t.”

Nick Cannon’s reflections provide a glimpse into the emotional complexities of his marriage to Mariah Carey, showing how insecurities, personal growth, and love played key roles in his journey during and after their relationship. While Nick continues to move forward with his family and career, his openness about his past struggles reveals the ongoing impact Mariah had on his life.