Jennette McCurdy’s journey to healing has been a difficult one, marked by years of trauma, manipulation, and emotional abuse. In her revealing memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died and her recent interviews, Jennette has opened up about the pain she endured both at home and in her career, especially during her time at Nickelodeon. While Jeanette’s story is heartbreaking in itself, she also sheds light on the silence of her former co-star, Ariana Grande, and the emotional complexities that may explain why Ariana has yet to speak publicly about her own traumatic experiences with the network.

A Toxic Childhood: Jennette’s Struggle with Her Mother

At the heart of Jennette McCurdy’s emotional pain was her complicated relationship with her mother, Debbie McCurdy. From a very young age, Jennette was subjected to intense control, criticism, and emotional manipulation by her mother. Debbie dictated every part of Jennette’s life, from her career choices to her personal identity, and this toxic environment persisted even as Jennette became a successful child star on iCarly and Sam & Cat.

Jennette’s mother’s struggle with cancer, combined with her unrelenting demands, further strained their relationship. As Debbie’s condition worsened, Jennette tried to escape by moving to Hawaii with her boyfriend, hoping to find peace. However, her mother’s disapproval followed her even to the islands. Jennette recalls her mother’s furious reaction to paparazzi photos of the couple, sending her cruel, scathing emails. “You used to be my perfect little angel, but now you’re nothing but a floozy,” Debbie wrote. “You caused my cancer to come back.”

Despite these hurtful remarks, Jennette was desperate for her mother’s approval, even as her mom lay dying in hospice care. In one of their final exchanges, Jennette desperately tried to get her mother’s attention, but it was clear that her mother’s death was imminent, and her approval would never come. “I said, ‘Mommy, I’m so skinny right now, I’m finally down to 89 pounds,’ but she never woke up,” Jennette shares.

The Nickelodeon Experience: A Darker Side of Fame

While Jennette’s relationship with her mother was undoubtedly abusive, her time at Nickelodeon also played a pivotal role in shaping her trauma. As a young star on Sam & Cat and iCarly, Jennette worked under the supervision of Dan Schneider, a producer who has faced accusations of fostering a toxic and sexually inappropriate work environment for young stars.

Though Nickelodeon conducted an internal investigation into allegations of sexual misconduct against Schneider, Jennette and others like her have since spoken out about the damaging nature of their experiences on set. Jennette has been outspoken about how unsafe she felt around Schneider and how his inappropriate behavior created a tense, manipulative atmosphere. She was among several young stars who faced pressure to be overly accommodating, emotionally and physically, to their superiors.

“I did not feel safe around Dan Schneider,” Jennette reveals. “I always felt like I had to be on guard around him, emotionally catering to him.” Jennette even goes as far as to explain how young stars were encouraged to do anything, including inappropriate acts, just to get a laugh from Schneider and to earn his approval.

Ariana Grande’s Silence: Is It Denial or Protection?

One of the most significant aspects of Jennette’s narrative is her revelation about Ariana Grande’s silence on the topic of their abuse at Nickelodeon. While Jennette has made her struggles public, Ariana has stayed relatively quiet about her time at the network, despite her own complex history with Dan Schneider and the toxic environment at Nickelodeon.

While we can’t know for sure why Ariana has remained silent, Jennette’s experiences provide some insight into the emotional dynamics that might explain it. Jennette suggests that in order for someone to speak up about abuse, they first need to recognize it for what it truly is. For years, Jennette struggled to see that her mother’s behavior was abusive, and similarly, it may have taken Ariana much longer to come to terms with the fact that her own experiences at Nickelodeon were, in fact, traumatic.

“I recognize now that I was doing a lot of mental gymnastics to keep my mom where I wished she could be,” Jennette said in her memoir. “And I know that if I want to be healthy, I have to stop keeping her on that pedestal.” This realization, that something was wrong with her relationship with her mother, was key to Jennette’s healing. Similarly, recognizing the toxic environment at Nickelodeon and speaking out about it may require a similar reframing of her experiences for Ariana.

Jennette’s reflections suggest that Ariana may still be processing her past, and her silence could stem from a mixture of fear, denial, or a deep internal conflict. “Before you can speak up about it, you have to see it for what it is,” Jennette explains. In other words, Ariana may still be in the process of coming to terms with the reality of the abuse she experienced and the impact it had on her.

The Importance of Speaking Out: Jennette’s Healing Process

In her book and interviews, Jennette has repeatedly stressed the importance of confronting abuse head-on, no matter how difficult it may be. Through therapy and introspection, Jennette has come to terms with her past and is working toward healing. Her decision to speak out, despite the pain it causes, has not only been cathartic for her but has also opened up the conversation for others to heal.

“I’ve made space for others to heal too,” Jennette says. “By recognizing and calling out the abuse I went through, I’m helping others see that they can do the same.” Speaking out publicly, she admits, has been incredibly healing for her, allowing her to take back control over her own narrative and create a space where others can find understanding and support.

Jennette’s courage in sharing her story, even when it was painful, has been transformative—not just for her own healing, but for others who may have suffered in silence for years. “Facing the parts of myself that I felt the most shame about and becoming public with those has been really healing for me,” she adds. “I hope people consider that for themselves.”

The Road to Forgiveness: Letting Go of the Past

Despite the abuse she endured, Jennette has also worked toward forgiveness—first for her mother, and later, for herself. “I worked toward forgiveness for a really long time,” Jennette shares. “And my therapist said, ‘What if you don’t have to work toward forgiveness?’ That was exactly what I needed to hear.”

This moment of realization has been pivotal for Jennette, helping her let go of the guilt and shame that had defined her for so long. Instead of trying to forgive a person who may never have been truly capable of change, Jennette has found peace in releasing the need for forgiveness altogether. This realization has been freeing, allowing her to move forward without the weight of her past holding her back.

Conclusion: A Path to Healing for All

Jennette McCurdy’s brave decision to expose the trauma she endured, both from her mother and from Nickelodeon, has sparked a much-needed conversation about the dark side of fame. Her decision to speak out about the abuse she faced, and the impact it has had on her personal healing journey, is a powerful message of self-empowerment.

While Ariana Grande’s silence on the matter is undoubtedly complex and likely rooted in her own emotional struggles, Jennette’s story shows how important it is to face our pasts and confront our traumas. Only by doing so can we heal, grow, and reclaim our own power.

In the end, Jennette McCurdy’s story is not just one of pain—it’s one of resilience, healing, and hope. By sharing her truth, she is not only finding her own peace but also inspiring others to speak up and begin their own healing journeys. It’s a reminder that even in the darkest times, there is always the possibility of light and transformation.