The Golden Globes 2025 was a night full of glitz, glamour, and a lot of laughter, thanks to host Nikki Glaser. The comedian, known for her sharp wit and no-holds-barred humor, took center stage to kick off the night with a monologue that was both hilarious and fearless. Glaser’s comedic style has always been unapologetically bold, and she brought that energy to the Golden Globes stage, making the audience laugh out loud while keeping the evening lighthearted.

Here are some of the best monologue jokes from Nikki Glaser that had everyone in stitches:

On Hollywood’s Obsession with Reboots:

Glaser kicked things off by poking fun at Hollywood’s seemingly endless love affair with reboots and remakes. She quipped:

“It’s nice to see so many familiar faces tonight. Which, in Hollywood, means they’re either rebooting your show, or you’ve really let yourself go.”

The joke was a playful jab at the fact that many Hollywood stars are constantly being asked to return to iconic roles, or simply being cast in sequels. Glaser’s self-deprecating humor hit home, especially with the ongoing trend of reboots.

On the Golden Globes’ Reputation:

Nikki didn’t hold back when it came to discussing the Golden Globes’ reputation. She joked about how the ceremony’s reputation for being a little bit wild in the past:

“The Golden Globes: the only awards show where they give you alcohol, and then make you give a speech. It’s like the Oscars… but with more regret.”

The cheeky line got a big laugh from the crowd, especially given the history of some hilarious, and sometimes embarrassing, speeches at the Globes.

On Movie Stars and Their Roles:

Another highlight of Nikki’s monologue was her take on the types of roles that actors are now getting cast in. She made fun of the shift in movie roles:

“I’m excited to be here tonight surrounded by so many incredible actors. You all make us laugh, cry, and sometimes think, ‘Wait, was that really necessary?’ But hey, these are the movies that make it to the Golden Globes. And some of them are so ‘artsy,’ even the actors aren’t sure what they’re doing in them.”

This jab was a perfect reflection of Glaser’s love for irreverent humor, playfully teasing the sometimes confusing nature of highbrow film projects that leave viewers scratching their heads.

On the “Golden Globe Diet”:

Nikki also took a moment to comment on the pressures of body image in Hollywood. She joked:

“I’m just glad we’re all here tonight—because, let’s be real, half of us wouldn’t make it past the Golden Globe Diet. You know, the one where you eat nothing but air and the occasional paparazzi shot.”

Her joke about the unrealistic body standards in Hollywood hit a relatable chord with many in the audience, especially as she commented on the pressure placed on stars to maintain a certain appearance.

On the Politics of Award Shows:

Nikki Glaser didn’t shy away from addressing the sometimes uncomfortable politics surrounding award shows. Her take on the back-and-forth competition between shows and movies was delivered with perfect comedic timing:

“You know, it’s amazing how everyone is so nice here tonight, right? Everyone’s saying congratulations to each other, and it’s all smiles. But we all know, if you lose tonight, you’re going to go home and turn on Netflix, watch a show you could’ve been in, and think: ‘I could’ve done that.’”

This playful jab at the internal politics of awards season was a light-hearted moment that reflected the competitive nature of Hollywood, but Glaser delivered it in a way that kept things fun and engaging.

On Celebrity Couples:

One of the most memorable parts of Nikki’s monologue was her witty commentary on the ever-changing world of celebrity relationships:

“Can we talk about celebrity couples? It’s always the most dramatic part of the night. One minute they’re perfect, and the next minute… it’s like ‘Will they, won’t they?’ No, they won’t! They’re celebrities! They can’t even keep a dog alive.”

Her jab at the fleeting nature of celebrity relationships was delivered with perfect timing and had the audience laughing in agreement. She wasn’t afraid to dive into the sometimes absurd nature of Hollywood’s most publicized couples.

On Her Own Experience in Hollywood:

Finally, Nikki Glaser brought the crowd to tears with a personal, yet hilarious reflection on her own journey in Hollywood:

“I’ve been in Hollywood for a while now, and let me tell you, it’s everything they say it is: fake, shallow, and… okay, I’ll stop. I’m trying to get cast in something!”

This self-aware joke had everyone cracking up, as Glaser cleverly used humor to navigate the sometimes tough world of show business while also showing her relentless determination to continue carving out a place for herself.

Conclusion:

Nikki Glaser’s performance as host of the Golden Globes 2025 was a mix of biting humor, clever commentary, and unapologetic jokes. She struck the perfect balance between poking fun at Hollywood’s quirks and making the audience feel at ease. Glaser’s humor reflected her fearless comedic style and ability to turn even the most uncomfortable topics into moments of pure entertainment.

With her ability to deliver sharp one-liners and keep the crowd engaged, Nikki Glaser proved that she’s a perfect fit for the Golden Globes, bringing the right amount of humor and wit to the night. We can only hope she returns for more in the years to come!